The wisdom of Larry, the cable guy

Because it is a slow, lazy Sunday:

• 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
• 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
• Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
• The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
• Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
• A clear conscience is usually the sign of a short memory.
• Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
• If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
• Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
• OK, so what's the speed of dark?
• When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
• Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines
• Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, "What the hell happened?"

With thanks to Jeff, who brightens up my Friday.
Picture courtesy Shot from the Hip